Real Love: Answer your questions on dating, marriage and the real meaning of sex by Mary Beth Bonacci

Author:Mary Beth Bonacci [Bonacci, Mary Beth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Spiritual & Religion
ISBN: 9781586173395
Publisher: Ignatius Press
Published: 2012-05-08T05:00:00+00:00

“I know my ex isn’t good for me, but I keep going back. I know it’s because we had sex, and now losing him is just too painful. We try to break up and ‘just be friends’, but that hurts too. Help!”

I want you to remember something. There are two kinds of pain. The first is bad pain. It is like the pain from an untreated infection or wound. That kind of pain is not getting you anywhere. It just gets worse and worse until you do something about it. The second kind of pain is like the pain you have from working out. It hurts in the short run, but it is getting you somewhere. It is making you stronger. It won’t hurt forever.

The pain you are experiencing right now is bad pain. I don’t see any resolution. You share a sexual history but no real present compatibility, and your sexual past has done a lot to damage your chances for a platonic present. It just keeps hurting.

If you walk away, it will hurt. I am not denying that. But that pain will be the second kind. It will require courage, for sure. You will need to be strong to resist picking up the phone when you are tempted to call him. But when you resist once, it will be easier the next time. I promise you will get to a point where it won’t hurt anymore.

I know it is hard to believe things can get better—but they can. I promise.

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